Your latest post on True & Brave speaks volumes, and articulates a part of why I post online as well. I am not a man, but what you say is true for women as well, I think. Although, the yearning for the wild inside is expressed a little differently, is all. One thing: could you elaborate on what you mean by the term 'wild'? The term is a lot like how we use 'love': it's a loaded concept.
Thanks, I’m glad you connected with it. I think you’re right, it’s just expressed differently, but what we’re referring to is the same.
As far as elaborating on the term ‘wild,’ you compared it to the word ‘love’ and I think that’s an appropriate comparison, so I’ll take that a little further and compare and contrast the terms to illustrate my point.
I think love is expressed differently for different people, and it doesn’t look the same for you as it does for me, and how we feel it is even different, but ultimately we’re getting at the same idea. some people say love is “sacrificially doing something for someone else’s best interest” and I think that’s a really good description. some people think they’re in love when they like how someone makes them feel, but that’s not love, the same way that being wild doesn’t mean being reckless.
so, love is kind of this unidentifiable thing that no one has ever seen… we can only see manifestations of it, and those manifestations look different for everyone, but we’ve come up with this word for it that we call “love” and there’s definitely a real version and a false version, so there’s a truth about it but we can’t clearly outline it without examples. but those manifestations aren’t love itself, but love is the motivation that those manifestations come from.
Family life is better than I imagined it would be. I love it.
Yeah, it was an adjustment to make. That’s a good way to put it. I think any time two different human beings start to come to grips with the fact that they have another person attached to them for the rest of their lives until they die, there’s going to be some friction as they figure out how to live as their own person, and still try to help another person be happy and fulfilled.
Sometimes this means giving up parts of yourself that you like for the other person, sometimes it means that parts of yourself that no one liked in the first place get replaced by better parts that you adopted from your spouse. The latter seems to be the case for me, which has been the best part of it so far. Having to relate closely to another person makes me have to care how other people feel, and not be so arrogant or pretentious or prideful, or so consumed with myself.
Somebody had a really good quote that I posted on here a while ago, it said "love shows you a picture of yourself that you’ve never seen before" and I think that’s so true.
In answer to your question, marriage was an adjustment, but it was a much needed adjustment, because it shows me how other people see me, and hopefully it’s making me a slightly better person overall.